Parks & Recreation’s Tom Haverford was full of ideas for different businesses, though not all of them were actually good. With the help of his business partner Jean-Ralphio (and other investors, sometimes), Tom started many businesses, and they all ended up failing for different reasons. Created by Greg Daniels and Michael Schur, Parks & Recreation followed the lives of the always optimistic Leslie Knope (Amy Poehler) and her friends and colleagues from the Parks Department in the fictional town of Pawnee, Indiana.

Among Leslie’s close friends and coworkers was Tom Haverford (Aziz Ansari), Leslie’s right-hand man who was more interested in his own ideas than his actual job at the Parks Department. Tom was cocky, sarcastic, and vain, and took his appearance very seriously. He also spent most of his time – both during and after work – flirting with many women, which didn’t always go well, though this allowed him to have a good relationship with those Leslie just couldn’t get along with, like Joan Callamezzo.

Tom was also coming up with new business ideas all the time, of which some actually became true, but in the end, they all failed. Here are all of Tom Haverford’s business ideas and what happened to them.

Snakehole Lounge and Snake Juice

Pawnee’s sickest nightclub, The Snakehole Lounge, was an opportunity Tom was not willing to miss, and became an investor along with Jean-Ralphio. The bar witnessed the debut of Tom’s drink “Snake Juice”, a combination of “a bunch of alcohol”, sugar, and coffee. Even though it was a big success on its first night, the after effects of Snake Juice were strong enough to not want to drink it again. Chris Traeger learned that Tom invited everyone in the building to the launch of Snake Juice, and forced him to sell his shares. And that’s how Snake Juice and Tom’s time at the Snakehole Lounge were over.

Tommy Fresh

Tom came up with his own cologne, “Tommy Fresh”, and intended to pitch it to Pawnee’s fragrance mogul Dennis Feinstein. Unfortunately, the “meeting” (which took place at Snakehole Lounge) didn’t go well, and Feinstein rejected and insulted the product – although, to be fair, it wasn’t even a good fragrance, as it almost made Ben Wyatt puke.

Entertainment 720

Entertainment 720 was a “premiere, high-end, all-media entertainment conglomerate” founded by Tom and Jean-Ralphio. The company had no business model and the pair went bankrupt quickly after blowing through their funding and doing no actual work. Tom actually left his job at the Parks Department to work at Entertainment 720, but returned after the company went bankrupt.

Rent-A-Swag

Rent-A-Swag was Pawnee’s only teen clothing rental service, offering “the dopest shirts, the swankiest jackets, the slickest cardigans, the flashiest fedoras, the hottest ties, the snazziest canes and more!”. Once again, this was a partnership with Jean-Ralphio, who brought his sister, Mona-Lisa, to work at the store. Mona-Lisa was lazy and stole clothes, and after a problematic romantic relationship with Tom, they broke up and she was fired. As revenge, Jean-Ralphio and Mona-Lisa’s dad, Dr. Saperstein, opened a similar business right across the street, called “Tommy’s Closet”, ruining Tom’s business.

Tom’s Bistro

Tom’s Bistro was the most successful and longest-living of all of Tom’s businesses. After a lot of work and planning, Tom’s Bistro opened after the Unity Concert and became one of the most successful businesses in Pawnee – but when he attempted to expand, it all failed. Tom’s Bistro was over, but that prompted Tom to write the book “Failure: A Success Story”, becoming a best-selling author.

Other Business Ideas

Tom had many other business ideas that never became a reality or didn’t go past the prototype phase. Know Ya Boo, for example, was a game show where he asked couples “scandalous questions" and they had to guess what the other one answered, which he tried with his coworkers. Talking Tissues also made an appearance, and was a box of tissues that gave a little message to hype you up every time a tissue was pulled out. Many others were only a concept, and here’s the full list:

  • Yogurt Platinum - a gourmet alcoholic yogurt. Homes constructed inside private jets. Eclipse - a nightclub open for one hour, two times a year. Cover charge: $5000. Contact lenses that display text messages. Tommy and the Foxx - a “raunchy animated series” based on his imaginary friendship with Jamie Foxx. Club-A-Dub-Dub or Clubmarine - a “sort of submarine-themed club”. A dating service for hot older ladies. A tuxedo line for babies A scented phone “that smells good”. Sparkle Suds - detergent with glitter on it. Snail Mail - an “escargot delivery service”. White Fur Earmuffs… for men. H2HO - a new brand of bottled water. That’s it. LASIK for fingernails - so you never have to cut your fingernails again. Saltweens - “Saltines for tweens”. VIP Department Stores - “a department store with a guest list”. Toddler cologne. Disco Dairy - butter with glitter.

Looking at all those ideas and then at the ones that truly materialized at some point, it’s good that he didn’t move forward with every single one or he would have been bankrupt in no time. Thankfully, Tom’s Bistro was a success, and he eventually found his calling as author of self-help books – and without the presence of Jean-Ralphio.

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